loving you was

a little bitter, a little sweet

it was my sin, it was my rebellion

loving you was

heaven and hell all at once

a paradox custom-made for me

it was the early mornings with the sun in our faces

kissing you like it was the end of the days

it was the late nights awake till 1 am

breaking glass and screaming till we lost our voices

it was like the kisses you left on my neck

gentle but oh so deadly

the waves that lulled you to sleep

and the waves that came crashing down on you

it was like the coffee you made for me

on lazy Sunday mornings in bed

bringing me back from the land of the dead

but once you reach the bottom all that is left is bitter dregs

it was like the fan on the ceiling

when the summer nights got too hot

hypnotic in its whirring

but all it brought was a biting chill

it was getting sucked into a rabbit hole

an endless fall

like we would never hit the bottom

until we did

and it hurt

it was driving out to no where

just to watch the stars

I didn’t know where we were going

but your hand in mine just felt right

loving you was all-consuming

and not loving you

has consumed me too.

BY: Sehrish Ahmed

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